Saturday, May 14, 2011
He was serious. He was actually checking. My oldest son is officially less than four inches shorter than I am. I have accepted the fact that my children will be taller than me. I want them to be taller than me.
But still, every time I take a moment and notice exactly how big they are getting, I am brought back to the moments when they were smaller than my thumb. I am brought back to the moments where I could feel their heartbeat beneath my own. That was a long time ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday.
I remember being absolutely certain that I was going to have a son, both times. I remember the doctors confirming, each time, that I was going to have a son. I remember the tears in my eyes because I knew that the joy had to get out somehow. I remember the look on my husband's face when he heard. A son. A second son. Two boys to fill my house with laughter and love.
They have not disappointed. Even when they fight like only brother's can fight, they still love each other like only brothers can love. They cheer each other one like no one else can. They communicate in ways that baffle me. Sometimes, I think they are twins born two years apart. Not because they look like twins, but because they act like twins. They know each other better than anyone else does. Sometimes I watch them as they talk or as they play, and there is a definite "twin" vibe that I get from them. They are one and the same, yet so very different.
I ponder this fact quite a lot. I know they were best friends before they came to us. I know this as well as I know that I can breathe. I know that #2 was sad when #1 got to come here first, but I also know that they both knew then that it was necessary. I know this because #1 had to come first to help his parents go to the Temple and establish an eternal covenant that #2 could be born into.
I can almost hear the words that #1 said to #2. "You can't come yet. I won't let you be born before we are an eternal family. I will go, mom and dad will be sealed, I will be sealed to then, and then you can come, too. I will prepare the way for you. I promise you will be born into an eternal family."
That protection is still there; #1 is so protective of #2. He knows that he has to set the example. And what an example he has set. It is not always easy being the oldest, but #1 carries that charge the way he should. They are best friends. They are absolutely the best part of my life. They cherish their mother and worship their father. They are good boys. They are best friends. I am blessed each and every day to be their mother.