Friday, March 22, 2013


I have recently come to the conclusion that some things are better left unsaid when talking to one of my best friends. This is the friend that I see most often; however, things have been strained and silent for us as of late. We still hang out, go to movies, sit next to each other at church, but there is a difference. She disagrees with me. She is worried that I am losing something. She is frustrated that I do not make my children go to mutual. (I disagree with the way the leaders are running the program, and my children HATE going. That is another post, but let's just say that making my children participate in something they hate, is not a good way to help them gain a testimony.) She is angry that I disagree so strongly with the discrimination in the scouting program. She laughed when I said that there are young men and women in our ward who struggle with sexuality. She thinks the idea that gay and lesbian youth in our midst is laughable. I love my friend. I am frustrated that I can speak more freely with total strangers than I can with her.

So, I wrote this poem based off of Li-Young Lee's poem "A Story."

Sad is the woman who has strong opinions
And can’t speak them to her friend.

Her friend waits in stressed silence
You can’t possibly think that
Are the unspoken judgmental words

In a world full of injustice
And pain, the woman speaks for those
Without a voice. With everyone
Except her friend.

Already, the woman looks ahead,
How can you possibly be so closed minded?
Just because I disagree, does not mean
I lost my testimony.
Listen and open your mind.

But the friend lives in a world
Where windows must remain closed.
Do you see what you are doing?
The woman screams? Sitting mute
And allowing the passive aggressiveness to overtake you?

But the friend is here.
Where she doesn’t want to let others in.
Looking at what she thinks Heaven must be.

Thinking that looking to heaven
Allows her to overlook the earth.
Ignoring the pain and judging the silence.

1 comment:

st said...

It is so hard when there is such a distance between friends. I have to agree with you on the mutual thing. Without going into a lot of detail and without knowing a lot of detail I'll just say sometimes it's better not to push. Pushing/forcing teenagers to mutual CAN (not always...) make the rebel against you and the church. I think you have to raise your kids the best way YOU can. It's not really for your friend to say, especially if you didn't ask for her advise. As far as scouts - we all have an opinion and sometimes it's best to just agree to disagree and know that you are doing the best you can for your family. Does that makes sense? I doesn't really help with the friend issue, though.
Sorry for the long comment....